Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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