I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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