just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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