you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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