dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
