i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
