i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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