the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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