I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
