I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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