I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize