You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
