There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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