giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
