she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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