you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
