dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
