My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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