If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize