I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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