Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
