So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
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Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
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