I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I am morally bankrupt
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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