So drunk its hurt
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
