The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
