Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
