someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
