Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
