if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
