you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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