i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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