question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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