i'm signing you up for texting rehab
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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