omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize