If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
