Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
