So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
