Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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