sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
