i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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