kristin has been a bad kristin
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
