My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
