i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
