I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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