I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize