I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
