I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize