Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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