the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
