She went from zero to smokin in five shots
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
