I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
