Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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