so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
