Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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