Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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