Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
