Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
