She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Congratulations! We have a period
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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