wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's rum buckets o'clock
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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