I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
