I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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