5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
